The three-day phone hiatus (and how to do your own)
It seems odd now, the memory of those family holidays when turning the phone off before getting on the plane signalled the end of all contact until you touched down again a week later.
When my mum and dad had a brick of a device and even when I got my first Nokia 3210 at the age of 11, the phone just didn't figure as part of a holiday. It stayed in the suitcase, firmly off.
Of course these were the days of topping up and paying 10p for a text, let alone a call. As such, no one really ever seemed to know what a text or call 'abroad' might cost. It was an ominous, mysterious sum that could probably shoot up in the blink of an eye with no warning. And God help us if you sent a picture message. There wasn't enough credit in the world for that sort of reckless activity.
But it wasn't just a monetary thing. The whole attitude towards a phone on holiday was that it was redundant. Because we were on holiday, and that was that. And the only people we needed to speak to were on holiday with us. Grandparents were given the name of the hotel in case of emergency. It wasn't like we were completely uncontactable. A phone really was just a phone.
Now what with zero roaming charges (my heart actually sank when Vodafone texted me with this news), the ease of Whatsapp and wifi as a given, it seems excuses to be offline and off our phones when we're away are increasingly hard to come by.
Looking back at my last few holidays, I realised I'd been too dependent on my phone. Yes, I'd tried to cut use down to a minimum, but I found myself craving total disconnection. So this time I bit the bullet and went cold turkey for three days when my husband and I went to Greece. Which meant phone off, deep in the bottom of the suitcase. I'll admit I was scared, not quite knowing what would happen or what to do with my hands. And I definitely noticed a few things.
I quickly realised I use my phone to punctuate my days. By this I mean there is a certain amount of time I feel comfortable not looking at my phone before needing to check it, and when that time elapses I feel anxious. It's like my phone is attached to my brain by a thin string and every now and again it just tugs at the string, pulling me away from any sense of peace or creativity, and back into over alert mode. I felt these tugs consistently over the first 24 hours, initially as an anxious rush, like my whole nervous system quietly whining at me and later as little pinches, just not quite letting me relax.
The times it was hardest was returning to our little apartment after a day's exploring or relaxing. The tugs came harder at these moments, an unhealthy mishmash of anxiety and the disappointment of not getting that perverse but ultimately empty high from checking. That mini hit of adrenaline, no matter how small, at the sight of a Whatsapp or a like on Instagram.
In other words, the phone is in control, not me. This may sound obvious but it was only when I couldn't satisfy those little pulls of the string that I really noticed how unhealthy they were. For me, a lot of my anxiety is centred around the fear that things will just change or flip in a second. Events, opinions, people, feelings. It's something I'm focusing a lot on in my CBT (more on that to come on the blog) and I think a lot of this does come from this instant and constant access to the latest, the most up to date, whether it's news, gossip or people. We've forgotten how to just be happy where we are in a given moment. And those three days without that constant chatter felt like I was rewiring my brain. Or at least starting to.
By day two I was resisting the pull more and more, allowing myself to sink back into the moment, reassuring myself everything was OK. On day three I was absolutely fine with it. By this time, the only reason I wanted to turn my phone back on was to say hello to my mum and to take some photos. And it's those things (and a couple more) that I wanted to put into a list for anyone wanting to do a little hiatus of their own. I'm certainly going to make it something I do every holiday (and maybe the odd weekend!) and the below includes things I would do next time to make the whole thing a little bit smoother... Hope it helps!
5 TIPS FOR A SUCCESSFUL PHONE HIATUS
1. Set an achievable goal. Deciding to do three days was really helpful - I knew I was going to want to Instagram at some point and couldn't break contact with my mum for over a week. But three days seemed doable. By all means carry on further if you reach your goal and think you could do more, but make it realistic. I kept my phone entirely off for three days and then gave myself one session online for each day following that, turning off in between. You need to go with a plan like this or you won't stick to it.
2. Bring a cheap alarm clock or digital watch. Often the first hurdle is realising you have no means to wake up other than your phone. It may seem harmless having it on airplane mode and just using it as an alarm clock but believe me, it's got to be off or you don't truly escape.
3. Before you go, tell family and friends what you're doing so they don't worry. It may not seem like a big deal, particularly if you're like me and and are so rubbish at replying in everyday life that you can easily leave it for a couple of days, but it puts your mind at ease to know no one is worrying. Just tell them it might be a few days before you make contact.
4. Rearrange your apps. On day 4 when I switched my phone on again just to text my mum, the Whatsapp icon on my homepage immediately showed how many messages I had. I had told my family to expect old fashioned texts and had intended to ignore Whatsapp so this was all a bit much after such a peaceful hiatus. Next time I'll turn off Whatsapp notifications and move it to the last page of my phone, restricting myself to text only. Do the same with Instagram and Messenger etc.
5. Take the time to plan your photos first. The iPhone is basically as good as a DSLR camera these days and I don't expect you to go and buy one of those just for the purposes of this experiment. However, if you're staying in the same spot for the whole holiday, take those first three phoneless days to identify what photos you'd like to take in your mind and then when you turn your phone back on, you'll be ready to capture them. I did this and it worked a treat, allowing me to only take the photos I really liked rather than the hundreds I would have otherwise. Also, reshuffle your icons so only your camera icon is on the first page. Essentially, turning your phone into a camera.
And breathe...
When my mum and dad had a brick of a device and even when I got my first Nokia 3210 at the age of 11, the phone just didn't figure as part of a holiday. It stayed in the suitcase, firmly off.
Of course these were the days of topping up and paying 10p for a text, let alone a call. As such, no one really ever seemed to know what a text or call 'abroad' might cost. It was an ominous, mysterious sum that could probably shoot up in the blink of an eye with no warning. And God help us if you sent a picture message. There wasn't enough credit in the world for that sort of reckless activity.
But it wasn't just a monetary thing. The whole attitude towards a phone on holiday was that it was redundant. Because we were on holiday, and that was that. And the only people we needed to speak to were on holiday with us. Grandparents were given the name of the hotel in case of emergency. It wasn't like we were completely uncontactable. A phone really was just a phone.
Now what with zero roaming charges (my heart actually sank when Vodafone texted me with this news), the ease of Whatsapp and wifi as a given, it seems excuses to be offline and off our phones when we're away are increasingly hard to come by.
Looking back at my last few holidays, I realised I'd been too dependent on my phone. Yes, I'd tried to cut use down to a minimum, but I found myself craving total disconnection. So this time I bit the bullet and went cold turkey for three days when my husband and I went to Greece. Which meant phone off, deep in the bottom of the suitcase. I'll admit I was scared, not quite knowing what would happen or what to do with my hands. And I definitely noticed a few things.I quickly realised I use my phone to punctuate my days. By this I mean there is a certain amount of time I feel comfortable not looking at my phone before needing to check it, and when that time elapses I feel anxious. It's like my phone is attached to my brain by a thin string and every now and again it just tugs at the string, pulling me away from any sense of peace or creativity, and back into over alert mode. I felt these tugs consistently over the first 24 hours, initially as an anxious rush, like my whole nervous system quietly whining at me and later as little pinches, just not quite letting me relax.
The times it was hardest was returning to our little apartment after a day's exploring or relaxing. The tugs came harder at these moments, an unhealthy mishmash of anxiety and the disappointment of not getting that perverse but ultimately empty high from checking. That mini hit of adrenaline, no matter how small, at the sight of a Whatsapp or a like on Instagram.
In other words, the phone is in control, not me. This may sound obvious but it was only when I couldn't satisfy those little pulls of the string that I really noticed how unhealthy they were. For me, a lot of my anxiety is centred around the fear that things will just change or flip in a second. Events, opinions, people, feelings. It's something I'm focusing a lot on in my CBT (more on that to come on the blog) and I think a lot of this does come from this instant and constant access to the latest, the most up to date, whether it's news, gossip or people. We've forgotten how to just be happy where we are in a given moment. And those three days without that constant chatter felt like I was rewiring my brain. Or at least starting to.
By day two I was resisting the pull more and more, allowing myself to sink back into the moment, reassuring myself everything was OK. On day three I was absolutely fine with it. By this time, the only reason I wanted to turn my phone back on was to say hello to my mum and to take some photos. And it's those things (and a couple more) that I wanted to put into a list for anyone wanting to do a little hiatus of their own. I'm certainly going to make it something I do every holiday (and maybe the odd weekend!) and the below includes things I would do next time to make the whole thing a little bit smoother... Hope it helps!
5 TIPS FOR A SUCCESSFUL PHONE HIATUS
1. Set an achievable goal. Deciding to do three days was really helpful - I knew I was going to want to Instagram at some point and couldn't break contact with my mum for over a week. But three days seemed doable. By all means carry on further if you reach your goal and think you could do more, but make it realistic. I kept my phone entirely off for three days and then gave myself one session online for each day following that, turning off in between. You need to go with a plan like this or you won't stick to it.
2. Bring a cheap alarm clock or digital watch. Often the first hurdle is realising you have no means to wake up other than your phone. It may seem harmless having it on airplane mode and just using it as an alarm clock but believe me, it's got to be off or you don't truly escape.
3. Before you go, tell family and friends what you're doing so they don't worry. It may not seem like a big deal, particularly if you're like me and and are so rubbish at replying in everyday life that you can easily leave it for a couple of days, but it puts your mind at ease to know no one is worrying. Just tell them it might be a few days before you make contact.
4. Rearrange your apps. On day 4 when I switched my phone on again just to text my mum, the Whatsapp icon on my homepage immediately showed how many messages I had. I had told my family to expect old fashioned texts and had intended to ignore Whatsapp so this was all a bit much after such a peaceful hiatus. Next time I'll turn off Whatsapp notifications and move it to the last page of my phone, restricting myself to text only. Do the same with Instagram and Messenger etc.
5. Take the time to plan your photos first. The iPhone is basically as good as a DSLR camera these days and I don't expect you to go and buy one of those just for the purposes of this experiment. However, if you're staying in the same spot for the whole holiday, take those first three phoneless days to identify what photos you'd like to take in your mind and then when you turn your phone back on, you'll be ready to capture them. I did this and it worked a treat, allowing me to only take the photos I really liked rather than the hundreds I would have otherwise. Also, reshuffle your icons so only your camera icon is on the first page. Essentially, turning your phone into a camera.
And breathe...
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